When protesters become shoppers…

Ever had one of those days? The ones that start off with that freshly-pressed yellow shirt, the hiking boots, the brand-new jeans, and a determination to join thousands of fellow, aggrieved citizens in a protest; and instead you end with a shopping trip and mugging for the camera?

Welcome to the world post-Peaceful Assembly Act, where Opposition protest organizers try to channel the deep and powerful currents of supposed resentment and anger

at the Government’s new bill to bring together, in one titanic moment, a supposed expression of the Rakyat’s seething rage …… in a 50-100-strong group of flash shoppers.

Campaigning Saturday afternoon at KLCC against the recently enacted Peaceful Assembly Bill, the tiny group, which was less than 1/10 of its anticipated size, ended up shopping for yellow items instead.

We admit that we’re not experts in channeling the presumed indignation that the Opposition thinks is seething, and we further admit that we don’t see much evidence of that undercurrent of resentment around us. (Based on the turnout, apparently, neither did the protesters.) Nevertheless, if we may offer some unsolicited advice to these would-be Bersih 3.0ers, given the turnout this time, perhaps next time suggest a flash mob that mixes political rally and, for attendance, a performance of Handel’s Hallelujah Chorus?

We would like to take a moment to thank the protesters for doing what so few protesters these days do: They minded their manners. The various Occupy Wall Street and other movements that have sprung up around the world have been filled with disorder, civil disobedience, and criminal acts. We can take pride in our most recent protesters turning to shopping and taking photos. We believe we can speak for all Malaysians when we thank these nice people for keeping to the spirit (if not the letter) of the Peaceful Assembly Act, and in the future, we would wager that if the protesters become shoppers then plenty of merchants across KL — and indeed, across Malaysia — will offer to make their areas available for similar protests rather than stadiums, especially if the numbers are measured in dozens rather than thousands and they come with their credit cards. More flash mobs like this could stimulate another 1 percent in real GDP.

All joking aside, we would respectfully note that the colossal, all-consuming tidal wave of rage at the Peaceful Assembly Act — about which we have heard so much from Pakatan Rakyat politicans and media — appears to be a weak ripple at best. As a general rule, the angrier people are, the more likely they are put themselves in the way of jail time. At a minimum, they are generally ready to show up.

We understand that Pakatan has done its level best to co-opt the Bersih 2.0 movement — understandably so, given its poor prospects these days. We also understand that Pakatan has a story line to which it must hew: That the heavy-handed Barisan Nasional government is crushing Malaysia under its iron boot, persecutions abound, and the very laws of physics have even been suspended in places. We also understand that exaggerations are an unfortunate and expected part of the Opposition’s approach to politics.

So we do not expect Pakatan, its component parties, or its leaders, to admit what seems obvious: That the Rakyat is not enraged, ground underfoot, or even terribly inconvenienced in its shopping habits. In fact, the contrary seems true: Malaysians appear to be reasonably happy with their Government (or at least they recognise how clueless the Opposition is), our politics is being liberalized by the leader of BN, and we are more prosperous than ever.

As we said, we understand that Pakatan and its fellow travelers are unlikely to admit any of this. But we do have a single request: For the next flash mob, try to find an area with merchants whose revenues are hurting.